Being Happy Together:
How to Create a Fabulous Relationship
With Your Life Partner
in Less Than an Hour a Week
Complete Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE:
The Challenge: Keeping Your Relationship Vibrant and Growing
You Want to Be Close
You’re Uncomfortable Talking About Problems
You Do Have To Do Some Work
Is This the Relationship You’re Dreaming About?
CHAPTER TWO:
Relationships Are A Work In Progress
Relationships Evolve or Die
Falling In Love
You Make Me Whole
It’s All Your Fault
I Don’t Need You Anymore…Now What?
We Made It!
Keeping Your Relationship Alive and Flourishing
CHAPTER THREE:
Use This Program Your Own Way
CHAPTER FOUR:
About Relationships
1. It’s OK To Be Different
2. Your Partner Is Your Mirror
3. Go Away, Closer
4. Childhood Experiences Make a Difference
5. You Are Both Right
6. Give In—Sometimes
7. Notice What Works
8. Recovering From Temporary Insanity
9. Your Relationship Is Worth The Challenge
CHAPTER FIVE:
Communication
10. Courtesy Counts
11. Give Up Mind Reading
12. Instead of Pretending
13. Clarity Is Powerful
14. Don’t Say Yes, Say Maybe
15. Remember to Say “Thanks”
16. Keep Your Agreements
17. It’s OK to Renegotiate
18. Describe Your Own Emotions
19. Get Permission First
20. Listen, Listen, Listen
21. Slow Down To Match Your Partner
22. Ask Before You Try To Help
23. Find Out What’s Really Needed
CHAPTER SIX:
Difficult Communication
24. Don’t Delay, Talk About It — Now
25. Anger Means You Want Something To Be Different
26. Give Advance Warning of Unilateral Changes
27. Break a Vicious Cycle
28. Prove That You’re Listening
29. Speak After You Listen
30. Face-to-Face May Be Too Close
31. Careful Confrontation Works
— Here’s How
32. Request Behavior Changes
33. Let Your Partner Be Right
34. Deliberately Create Consequences
35. Respond Instead of Counterattacking
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Play
36. Being Silly is Good For You
37. Touching is Connecting
38. Laugh With Each Other
39. Expand Your Play Horizons
40. Go Out To Play Together
41. A Mini-vacation? Just Do It
42. Take The Initiative Yourself
43. What A Strange Way to Solve a Problem
CHAPTER EIGHT:
Tasks
44. Negotiate and Re-negotiate
45. Do It, Delegate It or Dump It
46. Finish Something and Celebrate
47. Practice Project Management
48. Keep a List
49. Avoid Unpleasant Surprises
50. Do it Together
51. Surprise Your Partner
CHAPTER NINE:
Boundaries
52. Do You Really Need Control?
53. Substitute Cooperation for Control
54. You Don’t Have To Share Everything
55. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
56. Being Too Polite Causes Problems
57. Explore The Reasons For Your Preferences
58. Make Clear Agreements — And Change Them When Necessary
59. Insulate Your Partner From Outside Negativity
60. Make Important Decisions Together
61. Don’t Retaliate — Period
62. Obedience School???
CHAPTER TEN:
Money
63. Start By Paying Attention
64. Write Down The Numbers
65. Use a System to Track Your Information
66. Decide What Sharing Equitably Means
67. Negotiate and Renegotiate
68. Multiple Accounts Often Make Sense
69. Focus on Priorities
70. Work With A Financial Advisor
71. Getting Clear is Better Than Getting Even
72. Back to Basics — Spend Less, Save More
73. Share Responsibility
74. Create Your Own Team
CHAPTER ELEVEN:
Special Occasions
75. Do It, Even If It Seems Unimportant
76. Ask For What YOU Want
77. Find A New Way
78. Meet The Family Visit Challenge
79. Plan Ahead To Help Each Other
80. Celebrate Anything You Like
81. Give A Hint, Take A Hint
82. Use Your Hints, Be a Hero
83. Appreciate the Thought and Tell the Truth — Graciously
CHAPTER TWELVE:
Separateness
84. Two Don’t Become One
85. Be The Person You Are
86. It’s OK To Do Some Things By Yourself
87. Help Each Other Grow and Change
88. Listen When You Want To Argue
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Togetherness
89. It’s Worth The Work
90. Don’t Wait, Live Now
91. Learn Something New Together
92. 10 Minutes Makes A Difference
93. Imagine Being Your Partner
94. Know Your Own Priorities and Your Partner’s Too
95. Practice Acts of Random Kindness
96. When Changes Rock The Boat — Rebalance
97. Banish Blame
98. Nurture Each Other
99. Heal Resentments
100. Contribute Together
CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Care of Your Partner
101. Affirm Positive Qualities
102. Affirm Appreciated Actions
103. Deliver a Thoughtful Surprise
104. Focus on What’s Right
105. Promise Only What You Will Deliver
106. Speak Your Positive Thoughts
107. Connect With Hugs
108. Speak In Your Partner’s Love Language
109. Discuss Important Concerns
110. Just Listen and Be There
111. Be Truthful About Time
112. Compliment Publicly, Complain Privately
113. Get Consultation When You Need It
114. Apologize, Even if it Was an Accident
115. Listen Intensely
116. Accept Your Partner’s Feelings
117. Empower Aliveness
118. Avoid Known Sore Spots
CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Self Care
119. Remember Your Favorite Things
120. Include Your Personal Goals
121. Ask For Recognition
122. Let a Professional Help
123. Think Before You Say Yes (or No)
124. Pay Attention To Your Intuition
125. Remember To Make Yourself a Priority
CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
Your Relationship is Worth It!
About the Author